|I Desire... Brass Knuckles And Bagpipes...
||[Mar. 6th, 2005|08:10 pm]
|||||Ms. Jackson - Outkast||]|
Yeah, my weekend was pretty uneventful, i severely overdosed on aspirin (More than ten.) while i was on the phone with Ashlee. You know, just for kicks. All it did was send me to the bathroom a few times friday and saturday.
Well, yesterday Ash stayed over at Jen's because her mom was too lazy to pick her up, and i was just messing around with Gaia and a few other things. And its funny, because since me and Ash have been talking on the phone since January, we've never missed a day. We used to talk everyday from about 9 pm to 2 or 4 am, now we hang up at around 11:30-2:00 because of my mom.
Hehe. I really love this girl, i can really see myself getting married to her in a few years, and i can't wait. I'm always thinking about her, and shes so cute to me. Thats why i call her Mrs. Ashlee, because i'm dying to marry her and wake up to her cheery face every morning, and even in the middle of the night when i wake up to the sound of her on the other side of our bed, singing our baby to sleep. I'm glad that i'm the only guy shes ever gone out with that was more than infatuation, and i know that maybe shes fallen for people she shouldn't have. I know i've been with a lot of girls by now, and it sucks that i had to go through all of them as a means of filtering out all the "trash", although a few of the girls i went out with weren't trash. (Michelle, Ashley, Julia..) But maybe i wasn't meant to be with either of those three. But right now i feel like i've met the one i wanna be with. I've met people i wanted to "be with" in the past, but i've never felt this level of comfort. A lot of these girls were all show but no substance.
I guess one of the things that makes me feel sure, is that me and her mom always ask about each other, and that she even tells Ash that shes glad shes with me. I'm glad she feels that level of comfort with me, because i know that i'm a good guy, its just that women are such fragile minded animals and they don't realize a good guy when they see one, and they always make the mistake of letting go of "Mr. Right", and usually never realizing it. And thats why so many women are miserable now and there are so many divorces, because they wind up getting married or knocked up by the guys that aren't worth anything. Its my opinion and therefore common sensical law, that fathers should arrange their daughter's marriage. Most women can't make basic decisions for themselves, and whoevers reading this: Rest assured, you're probably NOT the exemption.
But regardless, i just really love Ashlee, and i love hearing her voice, and i don't think i'd ever want to be with anyone else. I know i've liked her all along, but right now its starting to reach that climax where i know what i want, and i'm beginning to see that i'm seeing all these qualities in her.
Of course i've loved her all along, but now i'm beginning to long for her, and
i feel like i need her to complete a part of me. Thats how i know its real.